Filled with the Light

Walking toward the window, my shaking arm hits a knob. I open the door and fall to the floor. While some pray to die, some pray to live. The door shuts. A cyclone of dirt and garbage from a fallen bin circles me. I reflect back on words of a poem I’d once written and hear myself saying, “My thoughts are gone, my mind is blank, I see no light, I feel no strength . . .”

In my minds eye, I see a glowing lamp. Within the light of that lamp, a man walks toward me. His face, His smile, a radiant sight. He sits with me.

I could breath. I could feel. I could see.

Some days later, I’m sitting in the airport reflecting on my experience in the closet. I’m back to wondering what am I doing with my life? If I’m no longer a nurse, what was I going to be?

Then, I see an attendant wheel a woman next to me. Her name was Rebecca. In an odd way, she had a life much the image of my own. As we talked, she shared her words of wisdom.

The gate agent called for us to board. I had hoped to sit near Rebecca and talk more, but her seat was far away from me.

As I gave the agent my boarding pass, the computer shut down. In my mind, everyone was staring at me. She re-scanned my boarding pass, but it wouldn’t work. I gazed down the line and apologized to the person behind me.

Poking at the keyboard harder and harder, the agent asked for my boarding pass and threw it in the garbage bin. (This wasn’t good.) Then, she printed another paper pass and scanned it. To my amazement, I had a new seat number. I thought, “Maybe I’m sitting next to Rebecca now!” But I wasn’t. I was alone. A single seat, in a single row, looking out a window.

The sun shining in nearly blinded me. So, I had to turn my head toward the woman across the isle from me. It happened, direct eye contact! So, I said, “It’s bright outside today!” I’m not sure how it happened, but from take-off to the start of our descent we talked about nothing, but cats.

As the plane prepares for landing, gears and flaps come down, the engines roar. The woman across from me leans over, holds my hand, and begins speaking. (I’m having a hard time hearing her.) She looks back down the isle and tells me, “I don’t usually tell people this, but I see people who have Jesus in them. A few weeks ago, I was feeling bad so I got up from my chair and walked toward the door. The next thing I know, I was in a hospital bed. Apparently, my son heard me walking weird and came upstairs to check on me. He found me on the floor and started CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation). I can remember being in the womb, I knew exactly where I was. Next thing I know, I was sitting on Jesus lap. He was stroking my head [she strokes her own head] and asks me, ‘My beloved, why don’t you forgive . . . My beloved, why don’t you forgive . . .’ Then, I woke up. I had to stay in the hospital a week and a half. The doctor said, ‘Your heart is fine, your potassium was just off.’ And that’s what happened . . .”

The plane landed and we taxied to our gate. I thanked her for sharing her story with me.

As I left the terminal, I thought to myself, “The one moment you meet someone who met Jesus and you don’t ask them any questions!” I had to find her! First and foremost, I wanted to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating.

I spot her. I go to her. I look her in the eyes. I say, “Thank you for sharing your story with me. It meant more to me than you’ll ever know.” She smiled and said, “I want you to know G-d answered all your prayers.” [A tearful pause] “Can I ask you one thing?” She replied, “Yes.” So, I asked, “Cheryl, why did you get to come back?” She hugged me and whispered in my ear “My work here is not done.”

And then her ride came. As I watched her get into the car, I thought of my personal experiences, life’s work, losing my friends, my time on prayer mountain, and my experience in the closet.

Back home, I walked into the closet. I had to see Jesus face to face. I had questions to ask.

Sitting in the closet, legs crossed, and eyes closed. I breathe in . . . 1 . . . 2 . . . 3. Exhale out 1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . .

Here I am, Lord.

What now shall I do?

From the old and new me, Shalom!

(Jesus is Messiah) ישו הוא משיח

Reflecting on the evidence

1. Relate this story to your life.

References

Beck, M. (2021, February 11). Florence Nightingale and the art of nursing. Time Traveling Nurse. https://timetravelingnurse.blog/2021/02/11/__trashed-2/

Beck, M. (2022, July 20). What drives the A/R/Tographer? Time Traveling Nurse. https://timetravelingnurse.blog/2022/07/20/what-drives-the-a-r-tograhper/

Beck, M. (2022, July 21). Finding the A/R/Tographer: The journey begins by turning on the light. Time Traveling Nurse. https://timetravelingnurse.blog/2022/07/21/finding-the-a-r-tograhper-the-journey-begins-by-turning-on-and-into-the-light/

Beck, M. (2022, July 25). Florence and the lamp. Time Traveling Nurse. https://timetravelingnurse.blog/2022/07/25/florence-and-the-lamp/

Beck, M. (2022, August 5). Angels in the light. Time Traveling Nurse. https://timetravelingnurse.blog/2022/08/05/angels-in-the-light/

Beck, M. (2022, August 19). Florence and the origin of the light. Time Traveling Nurse. https://timetravelingnurse.blog/2022/08/19/florence-and-the-origin-of-the-light/

Beck, M. (2022, September 13). What’s in the sky? Time Traveling Nurse. https://timetravelingnurse.blog/2022/09/13/whats-in-the-sky/

Beck, M. (2022, October 4). Looking for angels, finding the light. Time Traveling Nurse. https://timetravelingnurse.blog/2022/10/04/looking-for-angels/

Beck, M. (2022, December 6). Honor; Shining light. Time Traveling Nurse. https://timetravelingnurse.blog/2022/12/06/honor-shining-light/

Beck, M. (2023, March 10). Avi the window salesman, the garbage bin, and the song. Time Traveling Nurse. https://timetravelingnurse.blog/2023/03/10/seizures-seals-and-sight/

Beck, M. (2023, April 3). Maoilíosa, Servant of Jesus [Photograph].

Beck, M. (2023, April 4). Curriculum Vitae. Retrieved April 4, 2023 from https://timetravelingnurse.blog/curriculum-vitae/

Wikipedia. (2023, January 27). Shalom. Retrieved April 4, 2023 from https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=What+is+the+real+meaning+of+shalom%3F&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwif6PvY7pD-AhVwTTABHeXRB90Qzmd6BAgoEAY&biw=1440&bih=684&dpr=1

Talbot, J.M. (2014, November 7). Here I am, Lord. [YouTube]. https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=gZK-5v9gMTI

Team Mom Loves Best. (2022, September 6). Melissa Name Meaning. MomLovesBest.com. https://momlovesbest.com/melissa-name-meaning

Special Dedication

To all my friends, family, colleagues, and everyone I’ve met along the way. You are ALL special to me!

Words of Encouragement

My husband Bob says, “In knowing Jesus your salvation is settled, but Satan will try and ruin your testimony.” With that said, I hit the button that says, “Publish.”