The Dark House Wants Light

I received a call, the next thing I knew I was off on a plane. Over the course of three months, I was traveling back and forth, up and down, six time zones.

In my travels, I learned a lot about myself, others, and nursing in general. Florence Nightingale (1860) wrote:

In watching diseases, both in private houses and in public hospitals, the thing which strikes the experienced observer most forcibly is this, that the symptoms or the sufferings generally considered to be inevitable and incident to the disease are very often not symptoms of the disease at all, but of something quite different – of the want of fresh air, or of light, or of warmth, or of quiet, or of cleanliness, or of punctuality and care in the administration of diet, of each or all of these. And this is quite as much in private as in hospital nursing (p. 8).

Back at home, I sat on my deck and absorbed every bit of sunlight. With my thoughts gone, my mind blank, the glory of the sun penetrated my closed eyes, and to the core of my soul. With a radiant blow, my eyes opened. A bumble bee was over one of my cats. The cat was not swatting just sitting in peace. Fear entered my body, would he be stung?

To my feet I rose with intent to gather my two cats and bring them in. My next memory was a strike to the undercut of my left cheek with a knife like feeling going through the base of my skull.

I could not account for where my arms or legs were. I could only feel my cheek resting on the floor of a warm wooden deck. I felt no strength, but a comforting peace. Then, I heard, “Get up! The cats are scared.”

Having the image of a bumble bee in the sky, I thought I was completely filled with the light, but I wasn’t. I was still walking through the mist of a desolate land with just enough light to see.

The cats and I were now safely back in the house. Feeling weak, I sat in the corner chair. I grabbed Florence Nightingale’s (1969/1860) book, Notes on Nursing What it is and What it is Not. I randomly opened it to read, “The art of nursing, as now practiced, seems to be expressly constituted to unmake what God had made disease to be, viz., a reparative process” (p. 9). What could that mean?

Reflecting on the Evidence

1. Analyze disease.

References

Beck, M. (2023, April 4). Filled with the light. Time Traveling Nurse. https://timetravelingnurse.blog/2023/04/04/filled-with-the-light/

Beck, M. (2023, June 24). Somewhere I do not know [Photograph].

Nightingale, F. (1969). Notes on Nursing What it is, and What it is Not. Dover Publishing. (Original work published 1860.)

Special Thanks

Zehra Köylü, my Sister-in-Christ and editor for The Dark House wants Light.

Rebecca Niles, PhD, RN, CNE, fellow Missionary Nurse Educator and reviewer for The Dark House wants Light.